


The Horns Of War

by QueenOfRohirrim



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Annoyed Calanthe, Domestic Fluff, Dreams, F/M, Sleepy Cuddles, snoring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:01:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23799700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfRohirrim/pseuds/QueenOfRohirrim
Summary: Calanthe was having a wonderful dream.She’s not pleased when it’s suddenly spoiled.
Relationships: Calanthe Fiona Riannon/Eist Tuirseach
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	The Horns Of War

**Author's Note:**

> Rated for Cal’s language and her rather violent dreamworld haha

They had the Southerners on the run, pushing them back towards the pathetic shit hole they claimed to be a kingdom.

The Lioness’s men were battle hardened and thirsting for blood after such a long fight, and she could tell already that the would be king’s keep would belong to Cintra within the hour.

Calanthe smiled and laughed with pride as she cut through man after man, pushing nearer to the heart of the battle with every stroke of her sword.

This was what she was made for. This is what she was always meant to do. 

War ran hot and thick in Calanthe’s blood, and in the midst of this fray, she was right at home.

“Fuck these bastards good, men!” She shouted to her soldiers. “Show them what it costs to stand against Cintra!”

The men roared around her as the last of the enemy made a quick retreat for their castle.

“Take the keep!” Calanthe commanded, raising her bloody sword towards the stone monstrosity before her. 

This was it. They would be victorious in no time at all.

Or at least that’s what Calanthe had been certain of, until she heard the sound of the elvish horns.

Turning quickly to face the ravaged fields behind her, she was horrified to see a second army perched upon the rolling hills above the battle ground.

The bloody horns sounded again, louder this time, as even more of the vicious pricks rode forward to join their brethren.

“Fuck...” Calanthe growled in the back of her throat. 

Again, the horns sounded, and again more elves appeared.

Now she and her men were surrounded. 

They were going to be massacred!

The Lioness felt her heart jump in her chest as the sound of the horns bellowed once more.

This time the horrid noise went off right into her ear!

Calanthe gasped and her eyes came open suddenly, the battle field and the elvish armies fading away in a nightmarish haze.

The troubling thing now was that she could still hear that bloody awful noise, despite the fact that she seemed to be safe and sound in her own bedchamber.

Were there elves outside of Cintra’s gates? Outside the castle?

For a split second, she panicked, but then she heard the “elvish horns” another time.

With her senses now returned to her from their slumber, Queen Calanthe realized exactly what had caused her lovely dream to sour.

“Eist...” She hissed as her husband’s obscene snoring continued to torture her poor ear. 

At some point in the night, he’d rolled over to her side of the bed, ever eager to seek out a bit of closeness with his queen.

The trouble was that now he was holding Calanthe captive while his exhausted snores rained down against her.

She grunted, annoyed, and managed to push his arm off of her waist.

“If you’re going to sound off like a bloody hog all night, do it into your own pillow!” 

She shoved her husband away from her rather roughly but he never woke.

Waking Eist was often more difficult than waking a corpse, Calanthe had come to find.

She frowned as he continued to snore, peacefully asleep and unaware that he’d unintentionally sent an army of elves down upon his queen, costing her another glorious victory.

No matter. Surely the Lioness would have no trouble finding sweet dreams again.

She rolled over onto her side again, closing her eyes and enjoying just a moment of peace before she was besieged again!

“Eist!” She protested when her husband pressed up against her again, pulling her back into his arms.

The King didn’t wake. He did, however, continue to snore.

Calanthe thought about kicking him this time, but that most likely wouldn’t deter him either.

“Fine then, you miserable oaf...” She muttered her reluctant surrender, shutting her eyes to try and get back to sleep.

It took awhile with the obnoxious noise sounding off behind her, but luckily no elf armies found her in her dreams this time.


End file.
